Once you have decided you want a divorce, there are many other difficult decisions still to come. One is how to find the right moment to tell your spouse it is over.
If your spouse can be violent, consider your safety first. It may be safer to tell them in a public space, albeit one with some privacy. You might also want to stay elsewhere for at least a few days. If you have kids, consider taking them with you or sending them to family.
Aside from the safety of myself and my children, what else should I consider?
Think about your spouse’s safety. If you expect the news to come as a complete shock, consider how it will affect them. You might not want to be married to them, but you also don’t want them to be so upset that they do something stupid to themselves or are so distracted that they crash the car.
You also do not want to tell them on the morning of a crucial work meeting or exam for either of you. A first divorce discussion will make it hard to focus on anything else.
Consider what memories you will leave and who else you will affect
If you want to ruin Christmas, your child’s birthday or some other significant yearly event forever, then breaking the news you are divorcing on that day is a great way to do it. Also, avoid doing it in a favorite place as you will spoil all the happy memories of the place.
Allow yourself some time to prepare
Aside from practicing what you will say, you might also want to do some preparatory work on the divorce itself. It is especially crucial if you fear your spouse might cut your access to money or financial information.
Seeking legal help to understand what kind of financial information you need to gather can help you stay one step ahead in your divorce.