Divorce is a difficult time, but it has a lot to teach the involved parties. Children who are going through their parents’ divorce aren’t any exception. You can use your divorce to teach your children a lot about how to behave when going through a contentious situation.
While it is possible to use this as a learning experience, you need to balance this with helping your child to work through the emotions that are present due to the divorce. Finding this balance isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding. Here are a few life lessons you might be able to teach your child during your divorce:
Coping with a challenge
Challenges aren’t in any way easy to go through but your attitude and your focus during these times can have a big impact on what happens. As you are going through your divorce, look at how you are handling things. Are you meeting the situations head on or are you running from them? Are you looking for solutions or trying to “stick it” to your ex? By showing your children that you can stand up for yourself while still being respectful to the other party is a valuable lesson for your children as they move through childhood into adulthood.
Communication during conflict
Communication must remain respectful in all circumstances. During a divorce, there might be times when you are tempted to let that respect fall by the wayside. Your child will be watching you to see how you interact with your ex. Make sure that you are leading by example and speaking respectfully throughout the process. Even if your ex is saying things just to get on your nerves, you can still be a good example. Teach your child to take time away from the situation when necessary. Let them see how taking a step back can give you time to evaluate the options and make a plan for addressing the issues.
Caring for yourself is a priority
Self care is important in these cases. Don’t be afraid to take time to yourself. Enable your children to care for their own needs. This might mean having a relaxing night at home watching movies or taking a few hours to go hang out with someone who can uplift you. Spend some time helping your children work through their feelings and find ways to cope with the changing situations.