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Divorce for many: wrenching, yes, but, oh, the aftermath's upside

Unquestionably, much in media articles focused on marital dissolution seems to stress, well, the stress.

Granted, angst, dislocation, anger, nervousness and a lot of other assorted feelings can come to prominence immediately preceding, during and following a divorce. In any given dissolution, child custody and visitation issues might loom large, with a bit of -- or a lot of -- tension surrounding them. The same might be true of child support, alimony (spousal support), property division and a host of other things.

It’s safe to say that, while for many divorcing spouses in Florida and nationally, divorce truly ends up not being such a big deal, in other cases it is a very big deal indeed.

Gail Gross, a Ph.D. and human behavior/educational consultant and author, would like all divorcing spouses to know one additional thing about post-divorce life and what can happen on the flip side, namely this: It can be infinitely better than it previously was.

Divorce, notes Gross, can in fact be a golden opportunity in the event of a truly failed relationship to let go of wasn’t working, to take stock internally of strengths and passions and to engage in reflection and self-healing.

Going through such a process, she says, helps a person to regain that all-important “authentic self” that allows for clear thinking, valid emotions and an ability “to move into a happier and healthier lifestyle.”

It is a restorative process that promotes well-being, says Gross.

And, ultimately, what happens for many lucky people is that they eventually meet a new person who has similarly proceeded through such a process.

When that happens, Gross notes, a second marriage “can become fulfilling and mutual.”

And isn’t that what many people are hoping for?

Source: Huffington Post, "Positive outcomes of divorce," Gail Gross, Feb. 11, 2014

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