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Handling your spouse when you say you want a divorce

No one wants to tell your spouse that you want a divorce. It is generally an unpleasant experience that is rife with emotion. Initiating a breakup can be even more difficult when the other person involved in the divorce is actively trying to make you stay in the relationship. Both men and women are guilty of ostensibly ignoring their relationship problems until it is simply too late. So, what do you do when your soon-to-be ex-spouse tries to convince you to stay? We have some coping mechanisms to help you achieve a clean break.

When you first tell your spouse that you want a divorce, there are a few things that might occur. Your spouse may push for therapy or start reading a large number of self-help books. Therapy is actually a pretty good idea, according to some experts, even if you still intend to end the marriage. Your therapist can act as a helpful go-between to improve communication throughout the breakup. During this phase, your spouse may also shower you with gifts to keep you around.

After the niceness wears out, though, be prepared for your spouse to pull out the big guns. In many cases, spouses become passive-aggressive, viewing themselves as victims and blaming the other person for their woes. Some will try to manipulate the other spouse or even deny that the divorce is occurring. If that is the case, you must make sure to use your legal resources to push through negotiations about child custody, alimony and other topics -- eventually, your spouse will start to understand that you mean business.

No matter the tactics that your ex may use to derail your divorce, it is important to keep your eye on the prize. Make sure that you are taking all of the necessary legal and financial steps to ensure a smooth transition. Even though the experience may be tough at first, persist through these initial stages of your divorce for a faster, smoother resolution.

Source: The Huffington Post, "7 Surprising Ways He Begs You to Stay" Lindsey Ellison, Jun. 17, 2014

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